You closed your eyes, breathed in deeply, and pressed “Play” on your phone.  

Although the song was blasting, the audio was muffled because of your low-quality headphones. You didn’t mind it too much, though. The song, this song, always made you feel better; a little restless, sure, but better.

Running your fingers through your fuzzy blanket, you laid your head back on your pillow with the faint, yet audible thump of the melody, permeating your ears as you slowly allowed your mind to drift off and your body to relax. 

The gentle harmonies, soothing vibratos, and peaceful sounds from the instruments filled your heart with a peculiar ache, an ache not unfamiliar to you. Gradually, the vibratos became voices unheard, and their sounds rang in your ears, somehow comforted you. 

These voices gave way to another melody, a knell that rang in the depths of your mind, restricting your breath, as you felt a sob arise from your throat. It was as if the music transported you back in time. 

Memories of a life you missed dearly started to emerge; although it lasted only seconds, it felt like hours. This floodgate held back for years finally broke through its dam and mercilessly washed all over you.

Memories you hadn’t known for a long time.

You couldn’t take it any longer; you quickly tore your headphones off and threw them across the room with such force a dent was made in your wall. That one would never be easy to cover up and forget about. Your chest heaved, and tears streamed down your face as you put your hand over your mouth to suffocate your uncontrollable sobbing. 

But, this song was far from over. Your head became too heavy to bear those memories and face the music. You let it fall into your arms. It was as if you had nowhere to go and nobody to get you out of there; nobody to shine a light, offer a helping hand, or even acknowledge your presence because you were all alone — alone and defenseless, yet using your most powerful weapon to involuntarily make yourself miserable. Nothing would ever satisfy the ache, that ache. You yearned for a life you could almost grasp but never fully keep. You cried for memories you never made and people you never met. You cried for that life.

But it was never yours.