The Sandlers have made a triumphant return to the screen with the film You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah, which has been available for streaming on Netflix since late August 2023. This latest production is a Sandler family affair, featuring Adam Sandler in the role of Danny Friedman, a loving father to his daughters, Stacy (Sunny Sandler) and Ronnie (Sadie Sandler), characters who are brought to life by Sandler’s own children. Based on Fiona Rosenbloom’s 2005 novel of the same name, the film takes viewers on a journey through the challenges faced by Stacy and her best friend Lydia (Samantha Lorraine) as they navigate the intricate world of bat mitzvahs. Their well-laid plans unravel due to their shared interest in a popular boy named Andy (Dylan Hoffman).
Adding to the film, Adam Sandler’s wife, Jackie, takes on the role of Lydia’s mother, and Idina Mendel plays the mother of Stacy and Ronnie. The story offers a modern exploration of bat mitzvahs and how they have evolved in recent years. It also delves into the challenges faced by 13-year-old girls, offering a relatable portrayal of this pivotal stage in their lives.
Stacy Friedman, a determined 13-year-old, is serious about her bat mitzvah, a Jewish coming-of-age ceremony for girls that symbolizes the passage from childhood to adulthood. However, in this modern age, it seems that the focus has shifted from the religious aspects to expensive, extravagant parties. Rather than immersing herself in the sacred texts of the Torah, Stacy dedicates more time and energy to planning a New-York-City-themed celebration. Her grand plan includes a yacht, a performance by Olivia Rodrigo, and the ultimate goal of sealing the evening with a kiss from her crush, Andy. But of course, the harsh reality is that her parents are not on board. At least she can count on her childhood best friend, Lydia, to be by her side—or so she thinks.
The trouble begins when Stacy’s efforts to impress Andy and the popular crowd result in a disastrous and embarrassing moment and lead to a fight with Lydia. In an attempt to reconcile, Stacy reluctantly attends Lydia’s house party, only to discover her best friend making out with her crush. The betrayal sends Stacy into a downward spiral, prompting her to behave deceitfully. Stacy goes to great lengths to capture Andy’s attention, even volunteering at a retirement home for her mitzvah project in an effort to be near him. She also resorts to pretending to be older and more popular than she is and argues with her parents over her appearance and clothing choices. To make matters worse, Stacy attempts to turn Andy against Lydia by sharing embarrassing information on social media and, most hurtfully, sabotaging Lydia’s entrance video with humiliating clips. Andy eventually offers Stacy her first kiss, a move that puts her lifelong friendship with Lydia in jeopardy. As a result, Stacy and Lydia’s friendship, not to mention their bat mitzvahs, begins to unravel. Stacy receives a stern warning from Rabbi Rebecca (Sarah Sherman) that she must correct her actions or risk the cancellation of her much-anticipated party. Now, Stacy faces the daunting task of saving her friendship with Lydia and salvaging her bat mitzvah celebration.
My feelings about the film are quite mixed. On the positive side, as an Adam Sandler fan, it was a pleasure to see him in a new movie, and the emergence of his daughters in prominent roles was a great touch. Adam Sandler, currently engaged in a four-year collaboration with Netflix through his Happy Madison production company, seemingly crafted You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah to present his family’s talents, and Sunny handled her leading role with undeniable charm. I was impressed by Sunny’s remarkable performance, and it is clear that her acting potential extends far beyond the status of a “nepo baby.” Furthermore, the film included scenes that depicted a carnival-themed b’nai mitzvah for a non-binary teenager, as well as several moments addressing menstruation. Themes of inclusion enhanced the authenticity of the experiences of middle schoolers and enriched the overarching theme.
On the negative side, I wish that Adam Sandler had more screen time. While the focus of the movie was understandably on the children, Sandler’s appearances, albeit brief, elevated the overall experience and left me hoping for a greater presence. Lastly, it is clear that the movie is primarily tailored to a middle-school-aged audience. Therefore, it is possible some of the less favorable reviews were from viewers outside the intended audience who watched the film primarily because of Adam Sandler’s involvement.
In general, I enjoyed watching You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah. The performances were stellar, there were many humorous moments, and it was great to witness the Sandler family come together in this production. However, it is worth noting that this film caters to a specific demographic: girls in middle school. If you fall outside of this narrow group, the movie is probably not for you.
