i’m at the starting line

no one told me that when you left

every little thing would be a chilling reminder of you

sending jolts of electricity down my spine

you sting me and every single nerve in my body

i’m running a race, behind 

someone said your name last week and i got whiplash from how quickly my head turned 

how quickly the emotions i felt for the better part of a year flooded me

and brought me back to when they replaced my blood 

so that you were the the only way i could live and breathe 

and when it wasn’t you, i couldn’t have predicted i would be relieved

i can see the finish line. i am not there

no one told me that when you left

meeting you again would suddenly feel different 

there’s a wall that time has built between us

and we both see it there

but neither one of us wants to address it

so please try to hug me

break this barrier

we both know you can’t 

but god wouldn’t it be lovely if you could